On my Facebook homepage I encountered, “9 Things Every Guy Needs from Their Girlfriend,” “Five Reasons Why Your Faith is Struggling,” and “29 Things A Woman Should Experience before 29.”
My response to these lists is simply: You and your lists can suck it.
Yes, my response should also be added to a list of “What a Lady Should Never Say” but I really don’t care. Life is so much more complex and much more grey than these lists.
To what a woman should experience – I’m almost 27. I apparently need to learn how to roast a turkey, backpack through Europe, and have a group of girlfriends that I’ve had for five years… in the next two years. So, uh, I’ve failed at being a woman.
To why my faith is struggling- The fact that I don’t listen to podcasts and read books on systematical theology has been to my detriment. To take it a step further, the choices of my past that led me “to lose purity” will continually keep a wedge between me and God forever. So much for all things being new under Christ, eh?
To what a man needs in a relationship- Apparently the reason I’m single is because I don’t put out and I don’t pursue fitness like I should. I’m sorry that because I have Multiple Sclerosis that a successful workout is considered a day I didn’t take a four-hour nap. According to this list, no man could ever love a chronically sick woman. This one is just comical.
Over the past few months, Jeff has asked us questions of things I thought I could easily list about the necessities of life and what I understood… Now, my answer is, “I honestly don’t know what I think, but I’m glad God is faithful.” Life isn’t just about learning things and adding stuff to our belt, but also unlearning bad things that we’ve pick up along the way. I don’t need to backpack through europe, it’s okay that I’m single (and happy…. GASP) and that regardless of my disease, I will find someone who loves me. Unlearning things is just as empowering as crossing things off those lists.
To everyone thinking they are making it more clear about how people should act, think, and do to be a certain way: SLOW DOWN (I guess that’s better than ‘suck it’) and consider that life isn’t so simple.If you read these lists and feel like you can’t keep up, do not worry because you’re in great company. Life includes mistakes, diseases, and a super faithful God that is dedicated to reconciling the world to Himself. We already divide people by their skin color, gender, and now we also have to keep up with this? I really don’t think that’s what God wanted, rather let’s “encourage one another and build each other up” (1 Thess 5:11).
If you still desire a list, here’s my list that leaves room for the complexity of life, brokenness, culture differences, and people who don’t want to be defined by lists:
- I believe that God, the creator of the universe, desires a personal and intimate relationship with you.
- I believe this desire is not limited by anything you do. Your mistakes you’ve made, the mistakes you’re making now, and the mistakes you will make will not stop God from desiring this relationship.
- I believe all those mistakes have been paid for through the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross and the relationship is made possible because Jesus rose from the dead.
- I believe that this relationship is mind-blowing amazing. Because of it, I believe my time of earth should be spent loving others.
- I want to know how I can best love others to help them work through the process of finding where they fit outside of lists and expectations and in Christ.